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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?